Radical, queer, white, trans inclusive feminist, anti racist, anti Capitalist, body positive, Appalachian, disabled Multiple Sclerosis havin’ battlebot, poet and writer of a million words that no one will ever read. Undecided gender identity with no preferred pronouns. Likes comics, thick
thighs, music, art, short walks on imaginary beaches, reading, critical
analysis of popular culture, food, science fiction, zombies, sharks, dinosaurs, puppies, kittens, casual attempts at art, nachos, stuff and things. I know my oppression and my privilege.
Wooooow. Here is Ableism 101, right here, in response to this.
I don’t know that this even deserves a response, but here goes.
Many disabled people do not require any “special” care from partners. Many abled people do require “special” care from partners. Most good relationships, romantic or otherwise, are built on some degree of interdependence, wherein each person provides the other with love, care, and assistance in a generally egalitarian way.
For disabled people who need significant daily care, we would generally prefer that that not come from one person/partner, for the same reason that it’s dangerous for anyone to be completely reliant on one person: it’s setting us up for abuse. Sometimes we don’t have a choice. But we are working toward independent living and making sure that everyone has the resources they need to live independently, regardless of whether they have a romantic partner, sibling, parent, friend, etc. to care for them.
But if that’s what you’re afraid of, I’ve got news for you: anyone can become disabled at any time. Anyone can get very ill. Dating the healthiest, most abled person you see is no guarantee of anything.
It’s a serious fucking problem that you hear “disability” and think "burden," in a post about how that conflation is wrong.
Disabled people are not burdens. We are not burdens to society, we are not burdens to our friends, we are not burdens to our families, we are not burdens to our partners.
With that said, you, Anonymous, don’t have to want to date us. I’d really rather you didn’t.
Lorraine Spencer, about her son Jermaine, “For Parents Of Young Black Men With Autism, Extra Fear About Police” (via disabilityhistory)
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